We are almost done with intern training in the Czech Republic and in two days I will be in Slovenia for the rest of the summer! During these few days of intern training though, God has uncovered some things in my heart that have been a challenge to work through and process. Yay. Although I have done these days of training before, there is always more for God to reveal in my heart. How fun.
Now, some of it is the same, such as country and culture awareness (which is always a great thing to refresh on), but the rest of it is fairly new approach to a concept I have been looking through for the last semester.
Dave Patty, the president of Josiah Venture, has been doing the evening sessions here at training, and his sessions have included the Father heart of God. (I talked a bit about this a few blogs back, mostly in the sermon I taught)
In these evening sessions and some processing with a mentor here I have come to realize that there is a whole in my heart that involves pleasure. I constantly seek the pleasure of people, of God. So…whenever I fail, I feel like displeasure is expressed towards me. That is not a spiritually healthy process to go through. Satan has spoken lies to me in the past semester in which I have believed.
So what now?
Repent and believe. This phrase has been used a lot the past few days. Not just believe that God is real but believe that He can move through me and work in me. But this requires repentance. Okay.
In order to be in relationship with my Father I need to repent. I need to go to God and ask for His forgiveness and His holy hand to clean me from my sin. I cannot just assume that because I believe in God that it happens on its own. That is ignorant. and let me tell you… I have been ignorant. That is not fun to learn. But also it is something that I have never processed or worked through.
I am trying not to shame myself. As I can totally get into that mindset of shame. I need to put off that mindset and believe in the gospel. Celebrate the Good News of God. Living in this vulnerability can only be healthy when I celebrate that there is the Good News to look to.
Dave Patty has done quite an incredible job of bringing up this discussion among the intern for this summer. It has not been fun but it is SO good to uncover this darkness and call it for what it is. To bring it into the light.
We have one more day of training and I am ready to see what God will do in my heart. What God will do in the hearts of all the interns for Josiah Venture Summer 2019.
Learning (relearning) many things and soon we will be off to Slovenia to work and be with the young people there. I am even in charge of a camp dance for this summer, surprise, surprise(it is not like a prom thing, and also don’t roll your eyes COC’ers)!
I usually post a song and I’m going to post this one. This song has literally been stuck in my head for a week and a pretty awesome throwback. It also gives a hint for the theme of our camps this summer…home.
This is not the camp song but its got the same theme. Please be praying for the ministry here and the young people. I am SO pumped to be there in just a few short days. Pray for the leadership and the interns as we all start making our way to the countries we serve in.